Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Drugs are bad... mmmkay ?

What other advice can I give to scientologists. I'm sorry, I don't mean offence but I just read Wikipedia's entry about Xenu , the alien overlord whom scientology founder L Ron Hubbard invented in his sick and demented mind. Anyway, I am on the floor laughing at this crap.

The story of Xenu is covered in OT III, part of Scientology's secret "Advanced Technology" doctrines taught only to advanced members.
Seventy-five million years ago, Xenu was the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy which consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets including Earth, which was then known as Teegeeack. The planets were overpopulated, each having on average 178 billion people.
BUT WAIT ! It gets better ..

The Galactic Confederacy's civilization was comparable to our own, with people "walking around in clothes which looked very remarkably like the clothes they wear this very minute" and using cars, trains and boats looking exactly the same as those "circa 1950, 1960" on Earth. Xenu was about to be deposed from power, so he devised a plot to eliminate the excess population from his dominions. With the assistance of "renegades", he defeated the populace and the "Loyal Officers", a force for good that was opposed to Xenu. Then, with the assistance of psychiatrists, he summoned billions of people to paralyse them with injections of alcohol and glycol, under the pretense that they were being called for "income tax inspections". The kidnapped populace was loaded into space planes for transport to the site of extermination, the planet of Teegeeack (Earth).
And then, the plot just gets plain nuts. This stuff makes David Lynch movies look normal:
The now-disembodied victims' souls, which Hubbard called thetans, were blown into the air by the blast. They were captured by Xenu's forces using an "electronic ribbon" ("which also was a type of standing wave") and sucked into "vacuum zones" around the world. The hundreds of billions of captured thetans were taken to a type of cinema, where they were forced to watch a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for 36 days
How can anybody believe in these bizarre fantasies of L Ron Hubbard ? Are you all out of your frickin minds or what ?! Tom Cruise, you are a scary sonofabitch. Not because you believe this stuff, but because you are a scientologist missionary, determined to convert people to these whacky insane beliefs.
So what is the goal of scientology ? L Ron Hubbard himself wrote:
And it is very true that a great catastrophe occurred on this planet and in the other 75 planets which formed this [Galactic] Confederacy 75 million years ago. It has since that time been a desert, and it has been the lot of just a handful to try to push its technology up to a level where someone might adventure forward, penetrate the catastrophe, and undo it. We're well on our way to making this occur.
Ahh bugger.. I was hoping they believed in mass suicide during a comet or something, and we'd be rid of the lot of them. Keep on trying to penetrate the catastrophe, brave scientologists !